what does being a christian truly mean?

Recently I have been looking at my life and wondering who am I. Not based on what I say but what I do. Doing so has made me wonder am I truly a christian. I belive in god and that jesus christ is the son of god. But does that make me a christian or simply someone that accepts that there is a higher power? It made me realize that the only way for me to be sure is for me to do some research on what a christian truly is and compare that definition with my own life.

By definition a christian is a person who believes in jesus christ. Other definitions say a christian is a person who exemplifies in his or her life the teachings of christ. And another definition describes it as a disciple of christ. This last definition made me realize that I am not completely sure what exactly disciple means. I know there were 12 disciples in the bible. But what is the root definition? Disciple means a person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctorines of another, follower. A pupil is someone who is learning under the close supervision of a teacher. An adherent is someone who follows or upholds a leader. And by definition to follow means to immitate, to conform, to accept as leader, to go in pursuit of, or to serve. So a christian is someone who believes in jesus christ. Who acts as christ did. Someone who has a relationship with god in which they learn from him under close supervision. Someone who has accepted christ as lord of their life and pursues him and serves him. Someone who imitates christ and has been conformed to be like christ.

Looking at all this has made me realize that while I do believe in jesus christ I am not so sure I should call myself a christian. Because my actions do not say I am a christian. I rarely pursue god except when I am in need. My life does not show that I have learned closely from him and in doing so began to conform to be like him. And on most occasions I find myself serving myself and my flesh, allowing it to be lord over my life.

But while I am no where near where I need to be and in a way it is hard realizing just how far from a true christian I am, I use this study as encouragement. After all you can't get where you need to be if you don't know how to get there. And I must be pursuing at least a little, otherwise I never would have done this. Now it is up to me to put to use the knowledge that I have. After all knowledge without application is foolishness.

Doing this has made me understand more as to why many people have such a bad opinion of christians, saying there is too much hypocrisy. Before I used to say that we are all human and we all make mistakes, and that being christian doesn't mean you are perfect. But while this is true I now also believe that many people don't fully understand what it means to be a christian. They think that all you have to do is say a prayer and try to do good. But it is much deeper than that. Being a christian is a daily walk that is centered around a relationship with god, that starts with humbling yourself and laying it all down to follow and serve god.

Matthew 8:19-22 NIV

19 Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
20 Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
21 Another disciple said to him, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
22 But Jesus told him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

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